Tag Archives: marriage

Pooling Ideas: Advise Your Brothers & Sisters Trying to Get Married [Interactive]

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In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Ever Merciful…

Some of us were married, and those marriages did not work out. Instead of focusing on the negative side of such an event, let us be productive and help others by sharing what you would advise a brother or sister considering marriage to ask about before the marriage.

Others of us got married, and Allah blessed us with good marriages. This is also a great resource for others. Your success -a gift from Allah- includes steps in a process that worked out well. So share what worked out well for you, perhaps someone might find a great deal of benefit in it!

The topic is potentially very broad. Culture and local customs can play a role.

Let me begin by offering some general reminders that some of us might find helpful, by Allah’s Permission. (Contribute to the content of this article by using the “Leave a reply” feature below.)

1. Marry people of upright religion.

The Prophet (may Allah raise his rank and grant him peace) said:

إذا أتاكم من ترضون خلقه ودينه فزوجوه إن لا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد عريض
“When someone comes to you with manners and religion you are pleased with, then marry him [to your wards]. If you do not, there will be trials in the land and widespread corruption.” [1]

When a person fears Allah and upholds his/her duty to Allah, such a person will respect and honor your rights, since Allah is the One who gave each person their rights. Openly disobedient people show the world that they Continue reading →

Self-Issued Verdicts: Nullifying One of the Three Divorces After Final Separation Has Occurred

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In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy…

QUESTION posed to the virtuous Shaykh, Dr. Arafat al-Muhammadi, may Allah preserve him, from his brothers at al-Masjid al-Awwal, in the city of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, in the United States of America. [1]

As Salaamu ‘Alaikum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaathu… There has occurred in America, where there are no Islamic courts, instances of a man who divorces his wife with the third legislated divorce, and he takes witnesses to that effect, and then he desires to return to his wife that he has irrevocably divorced so he thinks about the number of divorces that he has issued and cancels one of them having decided this for himself, without returning the matter to the People of Knowledge, nor to those able to judge correctly in the affair, that it is permissible for him to continue to live with his wife by taking her back, or marrying her with a new contract, or simply returning to her as if nothing ever happened. Many of these husbands claim that one of the three divorces was incorrect (did not take effect) due to his anger, and then he and his wife mutually agree that only two divorces actually occurred; thus, they return to marital life despite having taken members of their community as witnesses to the third and final irrevocable divorce. This is done in opposition to the advice given to them by their teachers in the Islamic Centers (of their city) and the responsible parties therein (i.e. masjid administrators). So, what is your advice to these men and women who are in this circumstance? What advice do you have for the Islamic centers there (dealing with these issues)? How do they (administrators) handle such evil occurrences? May Allah reward you with good.

Masjid Administration

ANSWER:

Wa ‘Alaikum Salaam wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuhu…

We say to these individuals that they must fear Allah within their own selves and be aware of Him; for whomsoever seeks to deceive Allah, then Allah deceives them. This woman is no longer permissible for him until Continue reading →

How Should a Man Behave as the Walee of His Own Mother?

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In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Ever Merciful…

Often, especially in the West, a man may find himself in the position of being his own mother’s walee (guardian) for marriage.  Of course, we know the walee’s approval is a necessary requirement for the validity of a marriage contract. This predicament can be a difficult one to navigate, since in Islam he is required to obey, respect, and honor his mother. Yet, if she wishes to marry a man whom he is not pleased with, can he actually refuse to consent and prevent such a marriage? How does he balance between obedience to his mother and this apparent position of authority over her, as limited as it may be?

To aid our brothers who are faced with such a dilemma, I posed the following question to Shaykh Muhammad ‘Umar Baazmool (may Allaah bless and preserve him):

شيخنا من كان وليًا لأمه ولاية النكاح كيف يتأدب معها إذا كان لا يواقق على اختيار رجل لها فيه رغبة
Our shaykh, regarding someone who is a walee (guardian) for the marriage of his mother: How does he uphold good manners with her if he does not agree with the choice of a man she is interested in?

He replied: Continue reading →

Are a Muslim Woman’s Non-Muslim Relatives Acceptable as Mahram for Traveling?

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In the Name of Allaah, the All Merciful, the Ever Merciful…

As reported by Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) and collected in the most authentic Hadeeth sources like al-Bukhaaree and Muslim, the Prophet (may Allaah raise his rank and grant him peace) forbade believing women from traveling without a mahram.

A mahram is a woman’s close male family member, like her father, grandfather, son, grandson, brother, or uncle.

Traveling means to leave one’s city, by a distance considered according to local customs to be a journey, not just normal daily movement around and outside of the borders of one’s city.

In the West, a woman often accepts Islaam and thereafter faces the difficulty of being the only Muslim in her family. She may ask: How am I to implement this hadeeth? Since my immediate male relatives are disqualified from being my walee (guardian) in a marriage contract, are they also disqualified from being my mahram during a journey?

This issue was recently addressed by Shaykh Muhammad ‘Umar Baazmool (may Allaah preserve him), Professor of Higher Studies at Umm al-Qura University in Makkah. He stated: Continue reading →

Don’t Play Games with Wilaayah (the Right of Being the Walee for a Marriage)

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In the Name of Allaah…

In the West, it is not too uncommon to find a woman who disputes with her father about a potential spouse, who then goes to an Islamic center to get another walee (legal representative for the marriage) appointed for her, so she can get married without the father’s permission.

Sometimes, another relative is brought in to take the father’s place, and other times a walee is requested to be appointed from outside of her family.

Let’s be perfectly clear here – Playing games with wilaayah (the right of being the walee) can lead to the marriage contract being invalid, even if Continue reading →

Can a Lady’s Step-Father or Maternal Uncle Act as a Walee (Legal Representative) for her Marriage?

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The Permanent Committee for Scholarly Research and Legal Verdicts, headed by Shaykh ‘Abdul-‘Azeez ibn Baaz [d.1420] (may Allaah have Mercy on him), was asked about the step-father and maternal uncle of a young lady – Can they take the position of the walee (legal guardian or representative) in a valid marriage?

They replied:

The step-father is not a (valid) walee for his step-daughter, and nor is the maternal uncle (from her mother’s side).  Instead, only the male inheriting blood relatives can be legal representatives (for marriage), Continue reading →