In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy…
QUESTION posed to the virtuous Shaykh, Dr. Arafat al-Muhammadi, may Allah preserve him, from his brothers at al-Masjid al-Awwal, in the city of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, in the United States of America. [1]
As Salaamu ‘Alaikum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaathu… There has occurred in America, where there are no Islamic courts, instances of a man who divorces his wife with the third legislated divorce, and he takes witnesses to that effect, and then he desires to return to his wife that he has irrevocably divorced so he thinks about the number of divorces that he has issued and cancels one of them having decided this for himself, without returning the matter to the People of Knowledge, nor to those able to judge correctly in the affair, that it is permissible for him to continue to live with his wife by taking her back, or marrying her with a new contract, or simply returning to her as if nothing ever happened. Many of these husbands claim that one of the three divorces was incorrect (did not take effect) due to his anger, and then he and his wife mutually agree that only two divorces actually occurred; thus, they return to marital life despite having taken members of their community as witnesses to the third and final irrevocable divorce. This is done in opposition to the advice given to them by their teachers in the Islamic Centers (of their city) and the responsible parties therein (i.e. masjid administrators). So, what is your advice to these men and women who are in this circumstance? What advice do you have for the Islamic centers there (dealing with these issues)? How do they (administrators) handle such evil occurrences? May Allah reward you with good.
Masjid Administration
ANSWER:
Wa ‘Alaikum Salaam wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuhu…
We say to these individuals that they must fear Allah within their own selves and be aware of Him; for whomsoever seeks to deceive Allah, then Allah deceives them. This woman is no longer permissible for him until she marries another husband. [2] Whoever does this knowing within himself that he has issued a third divorce, then he is now upon zinaa (adultery), and refuge with Allah is sought! So do not embark upon, through trickery and deceit, what Allah has made forbidden as, indeed, these are the traits of the Jews – those who engaged in trickery/deceit in order to make lawful what Allah made unlawful. And Allah knows best. And all success lies with Allah alone.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
الى فضيلة الشيخ الدكتور عرفات المحمدي – حفظه الله
من إخوانه من المسجد الأول بمدينة بتسبرج بولاية بنسلفانيا الولايات المتحدة الاميركية
السلام عليكم ورحمة وبركاته ،،،
ظاهرة بدت في أمريكا حيث لا يوجد محاكم شرعية وهي أن الرجل يطلق زوجته الطلاق الشرعي الثالث ويشهد عليه ثم إذا أراد أن يرجع إلى زوجته التي بانت منه، يتأمل ويلغي إحدى الطلقات بأن يقرر لنفسه دون الرجوع إلى أهل العلم أو أهل القضاء أنه يجوز له أن يستمر مع زوجته بان يرجعها رجعة شرعية أو يعقد عليها عقدا جديدا أو يعود إليها كأنه ما حصل شيء. وكثيرا ما يدعي الرجل أن إحدى الطلقات لا تصح بسبب غضبه، ثم يتفق هو وزوجته على أنه ما حصل إلا طلقتان، وهكذا يعودان إلى الحياة الزوجية بغض النظر عن إشهاد مجتمعهما على البينونة الكبرى، وبخلاف نصيحة مشايخهم في المراكز الإسلامية والمسؤولين هناك. فما نصيحتكم للرجل والمرأة في مثل هذه الحالة؟ وما نصيحتكم للمراكز الإسلامية هناك، كيف يقضي أصحابها على هذه الظاهرة السيئة؟ وجزاكم الله خيرا
إدارة المسجد
نقول لهؤلاء اتقوا الله في أنفسكم، وراقبوه، فمن يخدع الله يخدعه، ولا تحل له هذه المرأة حتى تنكح زوجا آخر، ومن صنع هذا وهو يعلم من نفسه أنه طلق ثلاثا فإن ما هو عليه زنا والعياذ بالله، فلا ترتكبوا ما حرم الله بالحيلة والاحتيال، فهذه من صفات اليهود الذين يرتكبون الحيل ليستحلوا ما حرم الله.
والله أعلم
وبالله التوفيق.
Additional Benefits on the Topic of Playing Around with the Number of Divorces
Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen – may Allah have mercy upon him – said:
قلت هذا لأن الناس الآن تلاعبوا، حيث يأتيك رجل عامي ويقول: إنه طلق زوجته في الحيض من عشر سنين، فتقول له: فإنه قد وقع، فيقول لك: إنه طلاق في الحيض فيكون بدعيًا، يقول هذا وهو عامي لا يعرف الكوع من الكرسوع لكن لأن له هوى.
فهل يمكن أن نفتي مثل هذا ونقول له: طلاقك لم يقع؟!
الجواب: لا يمكن، لأنه أمامنا مسؤولية يوم القيامة، بل نقول: ألزمت نفسك فلزمك، أرأيت لو أنه حين انتهت عدتها من تلك الطلقة وتزوجها رجل آخر فهل تأتي إليه وتقول: المرأة امرأتي؟!
الجواب: لا يقول هذا، فإذا كان هو الذي ألزم نفسه بذلك فكيف نفتح له المجال.
This is because people play games nowadays, such that a layman will come to you saying that he divorced his wife while she was menstruating ten years ago! So, you tell him: That divorced certainly took effect. He responds by saying: It was a divorce that happened whilst she was on her menses, so it is an innovated divorce (i.e. attempting to make the case that it did not take effect)! He says this whilst he is a layman who doesn’t know his left from his right [3], but rather this is due to hawaa (desires).
So, is it possible that we can issue verdicts like these (i.e. following desires), and we say to him: Your divorce did not happen?! The answer is that this is not possible as we have a responsibility before us that we will be asked about on the Day of Judgment. Rather, we say: This is what you’ve forced upon yourself! What do you think if she were to have completed her waiting period from that divorce and then married another man, would you go to that man and say: “This is my woman”? The answer is that he wouldn’t say that. Therefore, since he forced this upon his own self, how can we then open the way up for him? [4]
The shaykh also said:
والتهاون في وقتنا الحاضر حينما صارت الفتوى بأن طلاق الحائض لا يقع من بعض العلماء. وأنا منهم صار الناس يتهانون يتهاونون ويلعبون. يجي واحد مطلق زوجته قبل عشرين سنة ثم طلقها قبل عشر سنوات ثم طلقها هذه السنة. كم هذه ؟ ايش ؟ ثلاث. والعوام يا جماعة الخير العوام صاروا فقهاء في مسألة الطلاق. فقهاء قال والله يجي يستفتي والله الطلقة الأولى في حيض يعني يقول إيش؟ ايش؟ غير واقعة ألغها. الثانية في طهر جامعتها فيه. يعني إيه ؟ ألغها. الثالثة : في شدة غضب ايش؟ لا يقع ألغها. إذا زوجته ما صار عليها طلاق إطلاقا . مع أني أعلم علم اليقين أنها لو تزوجت حين انتهت عدتها من الطلقة الأولى لم يقل زوجها للزوج الثانية هذه زوجتي ليش تتزوجها أبدا . لكن إذا ضاقت عليهم الأمور ذهبوا إلى الحيل. ولهذا من ناحية التربية لو أننا ألزمنا المطلقين بالحيض بوقوع الطلاق لكان هذا خيرا
And complacency has occurred in our present time when verdicts that divorcing a menstruating woman does not take effect were issued by some scholars, and I am from them. People have become complacent and have started to play around (with this issue). Now comes a man who divorced his wife twenty years ago, and then divorced her again ten years later, and then divorced her again this year … how many is this now? What? Three. And the laymen, O gathering of good, the laymen have become scholars of Fiqh in the matters of divorce! Scholars of Fiqh! By Allah, one of them comes seeking my verdict (asking): By Allah, what do you say about the first divorce that took place during menstruation? What do you say about it? It didn’t take effect. Cancel it! [5] What about the second divorce that happened when she was in a state of purity during which he had intercourse with her? What about that? Cancel it! The third (divorce) that was done whilst in a state of extreme anger, what about that? It never took effect. Cancel it! Thus, (in this way) his wife never actually becomes divorced.
Yet, I know with certainty that, if she had married another man after her first waiting period expired, her husband wouldn’t say to her second husband: ‘This is my wife! Why did you marry her?!’ Never! But when the affair became difficult upon them, they resorted to trickery/deceit! Thus, due to this (these games that are played), in order to teach people a lesson, it would be good if we were to enforce the divorce that happens during menstruation as having taken effect. [6]
Points of Reflection:
Sadly, this issue of playing games with the number of divorces issued has begun to plague our Salafi communities. As Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen – may Allah have mercy upon him – mentioned, this trickery and deceit is often resorted to once the situation has become untenable for the couple. When these husbands finally realize that they’ve destroyed their marriage by whimsically issuing divorce after divorce, they now do everything they can to cancel one of previously issued divorces; even when they’ve taken witnesses to these divorces. It has reached such a state that some of these men take witnesses that a third and final irrevocable divorce has occurred, and then weeks, sometimes even months later, with the agreement of their desperate (former) wives, simply cancel one of the previously issued divorces so as to skew the numbers and allow for them to stay together. This lowly state of affairs has been reached due to a number of reasons:
Lack of knowledge. Divorce in Islaam is an intricate issue and rightfully so as the well-being of the family unit is often at stake. Divorce is a process, and it does not happen instantly. Meaning, a man doesn’t pronounce divorce and then walk out on his wife and children leaving them to fend for themselves. Or, even worse, a man doesn’t pronounce divorce and then proceed to put his wife out on the street! Rather, there are a number of stages within the divorce process set in place to ensure that rights and obligations are met and fulfilled. The exact time when a man may pronounce divorce upon his wife, the purpose of and regulations related to the ‘Iddah or waiting period, how to rescind a legally issued divorce, the taking of witnesses, the number of allowable divorces, etc., all of these matters have lofty goals and objectives and, as such, are detailed and defined by the Quran and the Sunnah. If a husband is ignorant of these matters, it is incumbent upon him to seek knowledge of them before embarking upon divorce lest he later falls into regret and sin!
Lack of humility. It’s often the case that the problems within the marriage that lead to divorce can often be resolved through marital counselling services offered within one’s local Salafi community. Yet, time and time again, we find that many husbands are reluctant to cooperate with obtaining arbitration and counseling whereby they may receive beneficial advice and develop skills that will aid them in establishing a harmonious marriage by Allah’s Permission. Instead of seeing these services as an opportunity to heal the marriage and grow as a spouse, they view them as a sign of weakness. For some husbands, they’d sooner watch their marriages descend into utter chaos than to exert a bit of humility and ask for help.
Control. Some husbands use divorce as a way to control a wife that they have failed to learn how to live with harmoniously. Instead of learning how to identify what lies at the heart of the marital discord, and making sincere efforts to remedy it, they threaten their wives with divorce and execute those threats when the wife will no longer tolerate their oppression. When a third divorced has been issued, they simply cancel one of the previous divorces in order to continue to use divorce as a weapon of control.
To such husbands, we reiterate what our scholars have said: Fear Allah within your own selves and be mindful of Him at all times! Stop playing games with the religion of Allah and do not oppress your wives simply because you can! Know that playing around with the number of divorces issued may cause one to commit zinaa – and refuge with Allah is sought! Be mindful of the Day when you will return to your Lord and be asked about your actions!
And Allah knows best.
Translation and additional points of reflection by Aboo ‘Abdil-Fattaah Salaah Brooks, Imaam of al-Masjid al-Awwal in Pittsburgh
rev.mr.uq
FOOTNOTES (by the translator):
[1] Question asked to the shaykh via email on 1443/03/10 (2021/10/16) with his response issued same day.
[2] Meaning: with a legitimate Islamic marriage and divorce having taken place.
[3] The expression has been translated to reflect the intended irony. (MR: Otherwise, the original idiomatic expression translates literally, “He does not know the inside of his wrist from the outside of it.”)
[4] The shaykh’s explanation of al-Arba’een, pp.127-128
[5] The individual is asking the shaykh to rule that these instances of divorce did not count.
[6] https://youtu.be/o5AbmFR2Byg @ 1h 8m 30s mark
A brother says to his wife after a argument I ll divorce you” or fine lets divorce then” for example. The couple walks away and make up later that day or the next day. Was that considered 1 divorce ? Or has Allah put Mercy btw thier hearts not to divorce and stay together . or is their some expiation for the statement itself ? Or Tawbah?
This question requires us to understand the difference between seeghah sareehah (clear, unambiguous expression) and seeghah muhtamalah (ambiguous, non-explicit expression).
“I divorce you” is certainly a divorce. No explanation of such words can be entertained. (seeghah sareehah)
“Fine, let’s divorce then” is possibly a divorce. Since it seems that he may have meant, “You are divorced,” and he may also have meant, “Let us plan out a divorce and consider it,” this is a seeghah muhtamalah, which needs clarified by the husband. He is asked, “What exactly does that mean?” If he says, “I’m divorcing you,” then it is a divorce. If he says, “I want to consider a divorce,” then it is not a divorce. The man’s explanation is what is taken in this case, as it is his right to divorce or to consider a divorce and not issue one. And Allah knows best.
Also does a divorce have to actually have witnesses, Iddahh period, and divorce contract in order to be considered a divorce? Is the Iddahh periods purpose in order to not divorce in case a couple decide to remain married? Also, does a divorce then remmary means one needs a.new marraige contract ? And can a divorce contract be canceled? Please enlighten me ..May Allah protect you .
1. A divorce without witnesses is valid. Taking witnesses is legislated due to the clarity it adds, yet it is not a requirement for the divorce to be legally effective. See this (Arabic) from Shaykh Ibn Baaz: https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/7046/%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82-%D8%AF%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%A7%D8%AF
2. From the many benefits and points of wisdom in the ‘iddah of the first and second divorces is the possibility of reconciliation. Allah says (what means): “You do not know, perhaps Allah would bring about something else (other than what you thought of, i.e. reconciliation)…” [65:1] Yet, the third divorce is final. There is no raj’ah (rescinding) of this divorce. The couple must separate immediately, as they are not permissible to be around one another. By the text of the Quran, she is not halaal for him until she marries (and divorces) another man. (See: 2:230)
3. One needs a new marriage contract if he has divorced his wife (once or twice only) and then the ‘iddah expired. If he wishes to take her back during the ‘iddah of a first or second divorce, that is his right at any time before the ‘iddah expires.
4. A divorce can be rescinded (raj’ah), not cancelled, if it is the first or second divorce. It is still counted as one of the three divorces though. If the couple reviews the Islamic court during the marriage about a divorce that took place in certain circumstances, a judge may possibly determine that it was invalid and legally ineffective. But this is not for people to determine in their own cases, nor is it for people to do once they have separated with a third and final divorce, as mentioned by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen in the article above.
And Allah knows best.
As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh hayakallah, Ya Ustadh my father said he was listening to an audio of you doing a class by the name “Spiritual and physical purity in orthodox Islamic worship in daily life.” His question is He wants to know the name of the book you were teaching that class from and does it offer explanations of the hadiths? BarakAllāhu Feeka
Wa ‘alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaah wa barakaatuh.
The book used for that course is the Chapter of Tahaarah from the book called: “‘Umdat al-Ahkaam” by al-Haafith ‘Abdul-Ghanee ibn ‘Abdil-Waahid al-Maqdisee. [click here for the Amazon link]
Please note: As an Amazon Associate, we may earn from qualifying purchases in order to maintain our work when you use our links (like the one above).
Asalamu alaikum ustadh. 10 years ago I had been diagnosed with severe post partum depression and was not in my right mind. My husband was angry and frustrated with my mental illness and he said the talaq. We reconciled within a day. He counts this as one talqa though. I disagree due to my mental condition where I was out of touch with reality to the point where I was convinced my daughter didn’t know who I was. Can a husband divorce his wife when she is considered mentally unstable? Should this talaq be counted? Barakallaahu feekum.
Wa ‘alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaah. When a man issues divorce in a claimed state of temporary insanity, his case is investigated by an unbiased judge and a determination is made about that divorce. Again, with a heavy amount of emphasis on the article above, we do not allow people to issue themselves verdicts about their own divorces not counting because of this or that excuse; this is pure hawaa (desires) being followed, and a door to tremendous evil. Having said that, divorce is the man’s right, and it is not subject to the wife’s agreement, presence, approval, or understanding. It is issued and then witnessed and registered, and the community record is updated (i.e. like court records in a Muslim land). We would advise men to be concerned for the mental state of their wives, to be gracious, forgiving, and patient, and to offer excuses and overlook things as much as possible, yet when a divorce is issued, any excuse offered by the wife or on her behalf is not relevant to the fact that a divorce was issued. And Allah knows best.
Asaalamu’alaykum
If a man pronounced 3 talaq for his wife, but it was not witnessed or registered as you stated above, he simply left her and never saw her again, is that still a valid divorce?
Wa ‘alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaah. Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have Mercy on him) said that taking witnesses for divorce and revoking a divorce is a Sunnah, not essential/required for the validity of the divorce or the revocation [of a 1st or 2nd divorce]. See this:
LINK: https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/7338/%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%A7%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D9%84%D9%89-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%82-%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B1%D8%AC%D8%B9%D8%A9
Taking witnesses is better because it prevents a person from following his desires and denying what he said, but a divorce which was not witnessed by others still counts. Additionally, registering marriages and divorces with the Muslim court may be part of [obligatory] obedience to the Muslim leaders, when they request this to be done. And Allah knows best.
Asalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. Back when my husband and I were new to Islam and didn’t know all of the rules, he pronounced the talaq in a state of anger and he did not inquire about my menses and we are both certain of that. What we have doubt about is whether I was on or off my menses at that time so there is dispute over whether or not that talaq is valid. So I have 2 questions: 1. Does talaq have to be said after the menses is complete as in that very day or the day after if no intercourse has taken place? 2. Do we disregard this talaq as we are certain menses was not inquired about as we were both very ignorant.
Wa ‘alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaah wa barakaatuh. What is correct about a divorce like the one described in the question is that it is in violation of the Sunnah and sinful, and therefore such a man repents and learns what is correct before practicing it. Having said that, what is most correct from the statements of the scholars is that such a divorce is legally effective (valid), despite its incorrectness. Return important matters to the people of knowledge in your area for a specific judgment in your case if this is not clear. Additionally, a state of anger is not something which means the divorce was not valid. This is misunderstood in the West a lot. The state of anger which is like a state of temporary insanity where a person loses ikhtiyaar (the ability to make his own decision or control himself), is the case of insanity-level rage which a judge would consider to be something which prevents the effectiveness of a divorce uttered in that state. And Allah knows best.
As Salaamu ‘Alaikum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaathuh
What is the ruling on triple talaq in one go send as a letter?
If he came back as if nothing happened, what is the ruling regarding the child born after that ?
Baarak Allaahu feek
Wa ‘alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaah wa barakaatuh. Your situation is unique and important, and you should directly consult your local Islamic judge, or the closest thing you have to that, in order to know what is correct in your case. In general, it is most common that a judge would consider three divorces in one occasions (whether written or spoken) to be a single pronouncement of divorce. And depending on when he resumed marital relations, this interaction of his is considered taking the wife back. But for the specific rulings of your case, you would need to consult someone and include the details and all specific concerns, and a public forum is not a good place for this. May Allah bless you and give you success.
As Salaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatu’Allahi Wa Barakatu… Do you have a ruling on a woman remaining married to her husband who’s now incarcerated for the rest of his life? Is it Harām to do so beings tho she’s losing all of her rights? Should she seek divorce or be patient? Please answer In Sha’Allah… May Allah bless you
Wa ‘alayk as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaah wa barakaatuh. She has the right to request a separation due to (physical) abandonment. I’m not sure if he is maintaining her financially as well, so if there is financial abandonment, that is another potential reason for separation. This is done through the Muslim court system, or the local Islamic center which offers marriage services in non-Muslim lands. She may also choose to be patient and supplicate for her husband’s release. May Allah give her what is best and reward her and her husband for their struggle.
What about one who doesn’t remember if a 3rd one took place due to constant arguments between both spouses… he knows 100% 2 happened and 1 is dountful due to many arguments he doesn’t know if he pronounced it or if he threatened with divorce ? Wife swears by Allah only 2 took place what do they do?
It is legislated to take witnesses for a divorce for this reason. If he is genuinely doubtful and is not deluding himself by ignoring a divorce which he knows he actually issued, then he should consider that two divorces have taken place, and he should work to refine his manners so that divorce is not on his tongue during arguments. He and his wife should seek advice and counseling and re-commit to living together in kindness and respect, as Allah orders. May Allah give them what is best in this life and the Next.
As salamu alaikum. My husband has recently said he has “remarried” a woman who he has previously stated (and she has also stated) that he divorced 3 times. This comes about 15 years after their final divorce and it has been confirmed that the woman never married another man… [details removed by admin] Please help.
Wa ‘alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaah wa barakaatuh. Refer the matter to your local Muslim authorities. In a non-Muslim land, approach your local Muslim community leadership with these concerns and ask them to look into it and assist. Talk to your husband about it, and ask him to seek the advice of a trustworthy scholar or student of knowledge, seeking what is correct with Allah, sincerely. May Allah bless you both and keep you from harm.
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله
Does the sole act of intercourse take a woman out of Id’dah even if the man is certain now and before that he doesn’t want to take his wife back, only that he was weak at a time when intercourse was needed?
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
Despite a commonly cited but disproven opinion on the matter, intercourse is something that signifies that a woman has been taken back and her ‘iddah is over. Opposing this understanding leads to disastrous results, like the corruption of lineage, the preservation of which is one of the primary objectives of Allah’s legislation. Yet, any differing over a specific matter must be referred to the local Islamic court for judgment, and that judgment is followed. And Allah knows best.