In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Ever-Merciful…
It has been narrated that one of the great imaams of the early Salaf (pious predecessors), ‘Abdur-Rahmaan ibn Mahdee [d.198] (may Allaah have Mercy on him), said:
لولا أني أكره أن يعصى الله لتمنيت أن لا يبقى أحد في المصر إلا اغتابني! أي شيء أهنأ من حسنة يجدها الرجل في صحيفته لم يعمل بها؟
“If I did not hate that Allaah be disobeyed, I would have wished that there was no one left in the whole city except that he has backbitten me! What is more rewarding than a man finding a good deed (written) in his book for something he did not even do?!”
Source: Siyar A’laam An-Nubalaa’ (9/195-196), Risaalah printing
ELABORATION
“If I did not hate that Allaah be disobeyed…”
Meaning that backbiting is haraam, and to wish that the Muslims would backbite would be wishing that Allaah be disobeyed. However, to stress the benefit of being backbitten, he goes on to say:
“…I would have wished that there was no one left in the whole city except that he has backbitten me!”
When someone is backbitten or slandered, naturally he feels disturbed and upset, and even a sense of loss. So people need someone to point out that there is a great amount of good in being the focus of people’s backbiting. This advice of Abdur-Rahmaan ibn Mahdee seems to be from the idea of mutually advising each other to have patience, as mentioned in Soorah Al-‘Asr.
This may have been in response to his hearing that some people were talking about him, or possibly someone was complaining to him about having been backbitten, and Allaah knows best. He says that if it were permissible to wish for others to fall into disobedience, he would have wished that they all would have backbitten him, and then he clarifies the reason for saying this:
“…What is more rewarding than a man finding a good deed (written) in his book for something he did not even do?!”
Since the one who backbites someone (in other than the permissible, sometimes obligatory, forms of backbiting) forwards to that person his good deeds or will be made to be accountable for bad deeds of his victim(s), as mentioned in the hadeeth of al-Bukhaaree Muslim (no.2581):
إِنَّ الْمُفْلِسَ مِنْ أُمَّتِي يَأْتِي يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ بِصَلَاةٍ، وَصِيَامٍ، وَزَكَاةٍ، وَيَأْتِي قَدْ شَتَمَ هَذَا، وَقَذَفَ هَذَا، وَأَكَلَ مَالَ هَذَا، وَسَفَكَ دَمَ هَذَا، وَضَرَبَ هَذَا، فَيُعْطَى هَذَا مِنْ حَسَنَاتِهِ، وَهَذَا مِنْ حَسَنَاتِهِ، فَإِنْ فَنِيَتْ حَسَنَاتُهُ قَبْلَ أَنْ يُقْضَى مَا عَلَيْهِ أُخِذَ مِنْ خَطَايَاهُمْ فَطُرِحَتْ عَلَيْهِ، ثُمَّ طُرِحَ فِي النَّارِ
“The bankrupt one from my nation will come on the Day of Judgement with deeds of prayer, fasting, zakaat, yet he comes after having insulted this one, maligned that one, taken the money of another, spilled the blood of someone, or hit someone else. So some of his good deeds will be given to this one and that one. If no good deeds remain before his account is settled, their bad deeds be taken and cast upon him, then he will be cast into the Hellfire.”
And we ask Allaah for protection.
So then his statement, “…a good deed (written) in his book for something he did not even do,” seems to be referring to what is mentioned in the hadeeth that the one who is maligned will be given some of the good deeds of the one who maligned him.
And Allaah knows best.
Written by: Moosaa Richardson
ST Archives: 03-21-2003
Revised & updated: 1437-5-20 (02-29-2016)
Please give the full reference of the hadith at the end (from Bukhari), as I’ve already shared it and hope to reference properly for others.
The hadeeth is found in Saheeh Muslim (#2581), and I was unable to locate it (with this wording) in Saheeh al-Bukhaaree. And Allaah knows best.
Assalaamu alaykum. My family backbite A LOT, and it becomes even worse after I advise them. I end up being ridiculed and mocked for being ‘so righteous’. Indeed I do commit sin, but backbiting is something I especially hate, and I find it hard to love them after what they say about me and other Muslims. Thus I tend to avoid family gatherings and do not really try and be good to them (including my mother), and feel like I am not even part of the family. So I want to ask what is the best thing to do in this situation?
Wa ‘alayk as-salaamu wa rahmatullaah. Warn against backbiting and prevent it when you are able, excuse yourself from such gatherings when you are unable, and remain dutiful and patient with your parents throughout all of that. May Allaah give you success. And Allaah knows best.
As-Salaamu Alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Dear Ustaadh and Akhi Moosa Richardson,
Is it backbiting if I speak about someone however do not state the persons name? For example tell a family member about someone at work however I do not say his name?
Is this backbiting?
BarakaAllahu Feek
Abu Faarooq
Wa ‘alayk as-salaamu wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh. If you describe him with enough of a description through which he can be known, then it is backbiting. When in doubt, abandon it, as backbiting is a forbidden limit set by Allaah, so do not approach His boundaries.
Asalamu alaaykum,
I hope your well. I also hope and sincerely ask Allah that you see my message. I just accidentally found this post and felt that I should just ask and hope for a reply Inshallah. My question is, what if your the perpetrator sometimes or even the one who listens to this sort of conversation (backbiting /tale carrying), it’s become such a norm that one is even unaware that one is doing it.. Therefore, how do I rectify this as I am now of grown age and am surrounded by family and friends whom are also accustomed to this evil behaviour. I don’t no where to start in rectification as yes do tawbah, but what about the victims? This is such a evil habit that I can’t even recall everyone I have backbitted of tale carried. I feel like I’ve grown up just talking for the sake of talking and silence is somewhat strange and now I wish that I could just escape. I hope Allah forgives me and grants anyone I have uttered a bad word or tale carried forgiveness, khair and jannah ameen. But what can I do? How should I reach out to the victims? Do I have to tell them exactly what I said? What about those who I don’t even recall backbiting shall I just supplicate for anyone I may have harmed with my evil tongue. Furthermore, I often daydream or talk to myself and I speak about situations, people is this still backbiting? Any advise or answer would be highly appreciated, jazkha Allahu khairan.
Wa ‘alayk as-salaamu wa rahmatullaah. It sounds like you were likely raised in a tabloid culture of gossip. May Allaah give you success in earnestly repenting. Cease and remain silent, as you have mentioned. Silence is a virtue, and silence is a manifestation of true faith. Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day must only speak with good beneficial speech or remain silent. To repent, you need to speak well of those people, make du’aa’ for them, and rectify any damage. If you had lied upon them, correct those lies and clarify to whomever you spoke to previously. If you know that your bad speech reached them, then ask them to forgive you and apologize. If it has not reached them, then do not inform them, but rather mention them in good and pray for them. Also, remind all of those who used to speak with you in such sinful ways to repent to Allaah also, for at least being a witness to harmful speech and not forbidding it or leaving. Seek Allaah’s Assistance and be upright. May Allaah bless you and aid you. And Allaah knows best.
Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
I hope you are well ! I have recently moved into a business which has multiple partners, most of whom reside outside the country where we operate.. as a result of which they aren’t fully up to date with what happens inside the company.
Being one of the only two fully involved in the day-day operations.. I get called and asked about whats going on by the international investors. In order to keep them abreast and to protect business interests – I often describe what the other active partner is upto in all honestly.
I have reiterated the below statements many times amongst others to highlight his incapacity and lack of involvement – Would statements like this without his knowledge be backbiting ?
“so and so is hasn’t been to here for the past few days”
“he is in a hurry to make decisions without due diligence”
“his style of operation lacks professionalism”
I deeply worried that the company will suffer if a solution doesn’t come by involving the foreign partners but at the same time since I have done this often if it will fall into backbiting although my niya has been for the sake of the business
Wa ‘alayk as-salaamu wa rahmatullaah wa barakaatuh. If those statements are accurate and help your investors make an informed decision about their investments, then they have a right to know those things, and this seems like clarity in business and exposing the faults and shortcomings on your side of the deal. Exposing a potential harm or weakness in a business deal is required for honesty and clarity, and it is not forbidden backbiting, and Allaah knows best. But try to advise your partner to avoid this behavior and inform him that you have to reveal his reality to potential investors for the sake of clarity and transparency if he does not.
Asalamu alaykum Ustad
What can I say to a husband who has been backbiting his wife and complains about her, and some of these are even lies or exageration against her.
BarakAllahu feek for your time
Wa ‘alayk as-salaamu wa rahmatullaah. We can remind our brother in Islam about our basic rights in Islam to have our honor preserved, and the obligation to repent when one transgresses, as Allaah is al-Ghafoor, the Ever Forgiving, the One who loves to be asked, and He loves to forgive His repenting servants, may He make us from them.
Assalaamu’alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barkaatuhu
In da course of conversation, a brother told me that the people in such and such place are very rude. And that’s the reason I’d rather not settle there. He explicitly mentioned the city in a Muslim country. Is this backbiting?
Wa ‘alayk as-salaamu wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh. If it is true, but it was not in a context of advice (i.e. to prepare you for visiting there), or seeking help in changing an evil, or one of the legislated exemptions from the sin of backbiting, then yes, it was backbiting. Remind him to speak well of the Muslims. If it is not true, then he has slandered a whole city of Muslims, and the crime is very serious.
Assalaamu’alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu
U mentioned in the context of speaking about people due to a genuine need and gave examples of how u’d convey info. specific to the relationship coming up. So the info. u’d convey to a woman about a man she’s gonna marry is not going to be the same as the info. u’d convey to a man about another man he’s gonna partner as part of a business.
In a narration, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned about a man that he was evil to his relatives after the man left his company.
Why did he say this? Did the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) backbite him from the angle that he was an open sinner?
Wa ‘alayk as-salaamu wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh. Yes, to show open disapproval for the man and his behavior which was known to people. And Allah knows best.
السلام عليكم رحمته الله وبركاته أبو موسى
I was a victim of slander and backbiting. I wanted to ask how to defend your honor in this situation. I started to argue and raise my voice at the person. Was what I did wrong and sinful. They actually started to be rude first and insultive.
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
We live in a time where lots of people believe they are oppressed, slandered, backbitten, etc. and it is the Shaytaan playing tricks on them. They end up not verifying the offense, convicting the “offender” in their own personal court, while the person is actually 100% innocent. This results in a person claiming to be oppressed, who is actually a major sinner and an oppressor himself/herself! So this is just one person burying himself/herself under layers of self-oppression! So be careful, and verify things properly, before you act on anything.
We also live in a time of widespread nameemah, which is when people hear someone backbiting you, and come to you to inform you that you were being backbitten. This is Nameemah (going between people with reports to spread corruption), another major sin. If someone comes to you and says, “So-and-So was backbiting you, I just wanted to advise you…” then say: “Fear Allah. Your action is not advice. Your action is a major sin called nameemah. Because you are a nammaam, I cannot accept your report. If you are truthful, you were required to forbid such people from backbiting and the time, and then NOT mention it to me. May Allah guide you.”
If you have actually been backbitten and you have come to know about it, and it is verified, then advise and remind the offender to repent from the major sin of backbiting, maturely, calmly, with evidence, and with concern for their Hereafter.
May Allah guide us and our brothers and sisters to the best of manners, and keep us from the evil of our own selves. And Allah knows best.
In regards to sitting in a gathering where The Religion is being mocked or someone is being backbitten, frequently what one sees is that rather than a prolonged, extended conversation where this is taking place, it is instead someone who made a quick passing remark, like one sentence.
Before you have time to process what was said and how to react, the conversation has already switched to another (Permissible) topic.
At this point, since there was no real opportunity to get up and leave since they have already switched to a different topic, are you sinful for staying in that gathering, hating that remark in your heart but not verbally rebuking them? And thus, you should you still get up and leave?
And in regards to hearing a remark that was backbiting, is it sufficient to absolve yourself from sin by countering that remark with a good comment about the person who was backbitten but not denounce the person who did the backbiting?
May Allah bless you for the excellent question. If the topic has now changed and you were going to remind them to repent and fear Allah regarding their sinful speech, but did not get the chance until the topic changed, then with respect, patience, and good speech, say (when you have a chance to speak): “Excuse me, I’m really worried about something said here…” Mention the offensive statement, and say: “This was impermissible backbiting, and we all need to repent to Allah for either saying it or hearing it without objecting. We need our good deeds and we don’t want to give them away to others.” Then, mention something favorable about the victim, and make du’aa’ for him/her. If this is appreciated and accepted, then remain with them. If it is challenged and rejected, then excuse yourself from that gathering. May Allah bless you and give you success.
BENEFIT: Be sure to be firm in your knowledge of when backbiting is permissible, as we would not want to forbid people from fulfilling an obligation, like warning against the people of open disobedience and/or innovation, in a way that helps people stay safe from their harm.
السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ الله و بركاته
does this ruling only apply to muslims or is it also forbidden to backbite non muslims?
jazzak Allahu kheiran
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
While it is technically not backbiting to speak badly of a disbeliever, since backbiting is, by Prophetic definition, (ذكرك أخاك بما يكره) mentioning your brother (i.e. another Muslim) in a way he dislikes to be spoken of, we still need to ask ourselves about the benefit of our speech. If we speak badly about non-Muslims without any benefit, in a way that causes them to hate us and our religion, then we are setting up unnecessary obstacles in their path to the Truth! Speech has to be weighed for benefit and harms and evaluated carefully, due to the essential hadeeth (من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فليقل خيرا أو ليصمت), “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day must speak with goodness or remain silent.” (Bukhaaree & Muslim) So just because something is not categorized as backbiting, does that mean it is beneficial and productive speech? This, while the scholars mention that sometimes it is necessary to mention their disbelief and speak badly of them, like when a Muslim is unaware that they are not Muslims, or when someone is going to trust them, or some are thinking highly of them, and forgetting that they are not trustworthy nor praiseworthy people. And Allah knows best.
Assalaku alaykum ustaadh, I hope your are well inshaallah,
How do you ask forgiveness for causing harm to another Muslim(backbiting .ect) if you are unable to let them know? Is there a way to fulfil the condition of tawbah of giving people back their rights if you can’t tell them of your harm (backbiting.etc) ?
Jazaakallahu khairan
Wa ‘alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaah. The scholars say you mention them in good in the gatherings. Of course, you need to correct the backbiting by addressing the original audience and telling them it was sinful, and they were sinful for listening, and we all must repent earnestly to Allah. And when you feel you have not done enough, then be diligent in good deeds, as the good deeds wipe away the evil deeds. And Allah knows best.
Assalamu alaikum May Allah bless you!
I recently was told by a sister dear to me that she and her child were stricken in the face by her husband. I reluctantly told my husband this information for him to go and advise the brother. Now the brother is accusing me of spreading his sins, what can we advice him with.
Wa ‘alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaah. Assuming he is not challenging the accuracy of the claim: Reassure him that you have screened his fault and not spoken about his sin to anyone else, and that you are looking for the reward of screening the faults of your brother. Remind him that the religion is naseehah, sincerity and sincere advice. Advise him that no sinful backbiting was committed, but rather the only parties included were those part of a process of advising and correcting an evil, which is required in order to fulfill our obligation of forbidding evil, when we know of it. Ask him to reconsider if he should be grateful for being advised to obey Allah and rectify his sin, or if he should be rightfully offended. Tell him that we all sin, and when we advise our brothers, we are not insinuating that we are better than them. Ask him as well: What would you direct such a person to do, one who hears about oppression and injustice taking place with two people they know? Perhaps mention two people whom he cares about. What would he do? Supplicate for him to overcome his feelings of being offended and upset, so he can improve. May Allah forgive us and him, and may He guide us and him.
If kuffar backbite me, am I rewarded? How do I get rewarded if the typical reward is getting the backbiter’s good deeds but kuffar don’t do certain deeds that are significant to us e.g. salah etc?